Amaterasu
by iffulovedme
Summary: Itachi/Sasuke. Sasuke's been dreaming about this moment forever. But it's not what he planned. Not waht he thought he wanted. What he wants now...can never be. Sasuke reminisces about his and Itachi's childhood.
1. Chapter 1

You stand looking down at Itachi's corpse.

You can't believe it. You did it. You finally beat Itachi.

You've won.

But you're not euphoric. Rather than getting answers, you're left with a load of questions. Such as, what are you supposed to do now? Your entire life thus far has been focused on catching Itachi, on avenging your village. You thought the emptiness that blossomed when Itachi left would be filled once you accomplished your mission.

You were wrong.

All you feel now is empty, hollowness only intensified.

You suppose another way to look at it is that Itachi was your sun and moon and stars, your world and your religion. Now that he's gone, you've got nothing left. No belief or faith in anything.

You kneel by his body, feeling the urge to be close to your only brother. Your hero. Your world. Your light. Your destiny. Your tormentor. Your savior. Your Itachi.

You're supposed to be happy.

You're finally equal with Itachi. At last.

He killed the people he loved, his friends and family.

And now you've gone and killed your brother.

You hate him.

"Why do you always do this to me? Do you get some kind of sick enjoyment tormenting me?"

He's left you alone again. And you know that he's gone to a place that you can't reach.  
You're sorely tempted to take your own life and chase full throttle after Itachi. You want to see him again. But you can't. It's not your time, not yet. And Itachi wouldn't want that.

When he was dying, as you watched the life drain from his already pale emotionless face, a montage of your childhood flashed before your eyes.

When you were younger. When he was your beloved genius of a brother.

You refuse to cry.

Itachi was blind. He couldn't see you.

But maybe it's better that way.

Maybe he wants to remember you as you were. When you were five and innocent.

Not now, covered in your nii-san's blood.


	2. Chapter 2

_"Nii-san, mom was talking about finding a wife for you!" _

_"Oh?" _

_Itachi doesn't seem alarmed. Which confuses you to no end. _

_"But you're mine! You belong to me!" _

_"I do?" _

_"Yes!" _

_"What about sharing?" _

_"What about it?"_

_"A shinobi always shares." Itachi seems amused._

_"Not people!" you argue. "Not you." _

_"I wonder where you got so possessive." _

_You want to protest and scowl at the comment, but then Itachi gives you that barely there smile and it warms you like sunshine. So you just pout. _

_"Let's compromise. How about..." Itachi pauses, considering. _

_"I'll do anything for you!" Just stay away from those girls, you think feverishly. _

_"Really?" _

_"Yes!"_

_"Okay, we can play shogi this afternoon and can you do the dishes tonight." _

_"Itachi!" you whine. You're annoyed and enthused at the same time. _

_"You said you'd do anything." And he has you there. _


	3. Chapter 3

In the moment, you couldn't stop thinking about the past.

It wasn't supposed to end like this.

You sit down, wondering if you'll ever get up again.

And you decide it doesn't matter. Nothing matters anymore.

You think of all that time you lost, but then reconsider.

It would never have been enough.

When it came it Itachi, you've always wanted more, more of everything. Because he demanded it, and because you thought he was God, had no desire to refuse.

You think of all the things you never told him.

Of all the questions you never asked. That you'll never know.


	4. Chapter 4

_"Nii-san wake up!" _

_You catch Itachi sleeping underneath a weeping willow. _

_"You promised me we'd train!" _

_He simply mutters something unintelligible. _

_"Itachiiiii!" you whine, knowing he hates it when you do so. _

_"Sasuke, can't you see I'm sleeping?" _

_You grin at his messed up appearance. You still think he looks perfect, of course. _

_"But you promised!"_

_Actually Itachi hasn't promised you anything, but you figure he's too muddled from being just recently woken up. _

_"Fine, fine. Let's do something later." _

_"That's what you always say." _

_"We have time, Sasuke. What's the hurry? I'm not going anywhere." _

_"Huh?"_

_"My mission was delayed. I won't be leaving for another week." _

_"Yippeee!" _


	5. Chapter 5

You put your mouth to his, almost like CPR. Only you're not trying to give him life. You're trying to steal a kiss that's long overdue.

And he can't protest.

You can almost imagine he's asleep.

You wonder if you start crying, if the tears will be clear or red.

You just want confirmation that he loves you too.

You want to yell, scream at him. So you do.

You stay with him.

You tell him everything. And you talk and talk.

There is no hurry. Nothing can make you get up.

You have all the time in the world.

And Itachi can't tell you to shut up.

The thought should comfort you, but it only makes a single tear roll down your cheek. You lick it. It's metallic as opposed to salty. The color red symbolizes passion, love. Blood. Nii-san…_Itachi_…


	6. Chapter 6

_It's just a paper cut. But Itachi is franticly searching for bandages._ _You're thrilled that he's paying you so much attention. He bandages your finger and it looks swollen. You laugh in delight but stop when you see the seriousness in Itachi's eyes. _

_"You should be more careful," Itachi chides. _

_"Sorry Aniki. It won't happen again." You smile serenely up at him. _

_Sighing, Itachi kisses it better. _

_"Are kisses magic?" you ask. _

_"Yes. But only if they're from the right person." There's a twinkle in his eye that is never revealed to anyone but you. _

_"I understand." You don't but you want to keep that light there. _

_"It's just us," Itachi says in response. "I've got you. I'll protect you."_

_From paper? you think skeptically. But you never ask why Itachi says such weird things. You presume it just comes with the package._


	7. Chapter 7

You can feel Itachi, can feel his presence, his chakra.

He's not gone. He's here, in the tears you cry now.

You like to think he'll always be with you.

It's not so bad, maybe.

He's given you purpose once again. To find this Madara.

You need to be strong again. He demands it. You know it. But you don't know if it's possible.

Itachi will always be your hero. And you will always be his little brother.

It used to annoy you when Itachi poked you, but now you'd do anything to feel his touch.


	8. Chapter 8

__

You stand in his doorway, hovering. It's thundering and lightning outside and it scares you. A ninja shouldn't be so scared. But you're not a ninja just then. You're just a little boy who wants so badly to be with this brother in ways he can't fully comprehend.

_"Sasuke. I know you're there." _

_"Can I be with you?" You hate it. Hate the tremble in your voice. But Itachi is the only one who makes you feel safe. _

_"Come here." He pats the bed and you don't waste any time diving under the covers. Itachi doesn't sleep with clothes on and his body is cool. But still warm. You know he will not touch you on his own, so you duck your head under his chin and pull his arm over you like a blanket. You don't think anything of it. Some kids have security blankets, and you have Itachi._

_Itachi, to the rest of the world, is a genius, cold and arrogant. But to you he is more than that. He is Protection and Warmth and Love. _

_"Night Itachi," you breathe into Itachi's collar bone. _

_"Good night, Sasuke_."


	9. Chapter 9

You need to defeat Madara, to show him that he messed with the wrong pair of brothers.

It's Itachi's last gift to you that flows through your veins. You pretend Itachi's giving you purpose once more, refuse to acknowledge that maybe, just maybe, he died for you, for love. You were star crossed lovers who just happened to be siblings. You'll never admit it, but you'd die for him. And that's the great thing about Itachi. He understands and you don't ever have to say a word. But just this once you make things easier for Itachi. So you say the words out loud, not keeping them locked up tight like you usually do.

"Love you, nii-san. It's not goodbye. Wait for me. I'm coming home to you. And you can make me dango. And we'll just be brothers, okay? I won't ask for anything more."

Maybe in the next life, you think dreamily, we'll be lucky. And nii-san and you won't ever have to be apart, not even for a second. But that wouldn't be life, that'd be paradise.

~Fin


End file.
